TRAINING METHODOLOGY

Step 1: Acquire 3-5 kittens (more if you're feeling particularly savage).

Step 2: Place kittens in 90s-style platform shoes (optional but recommended).

Step 3: Play "Hulk Hogan's Pop-Fight" soundtrack at maximum volume.

Step 4: Wave laser pointer around erratically while shouting "KISS MY FOOT!".

Step 5: Reward with expired cheese doodles and a "WINNER!" sash.

Disclaimer: Results may include increased aggression, catnip addiction, or spontaneous jazz hands.